Flickr ~ funny bar stools

funny bar stools, originally uploaded by SPAM_King.

Yeah! I have explored a new way to add contents to my Blogger! It's so convenient and user-friendly. Now I can share more with my visitors. Cool~

CNY'08

Just back from my long Chinese New Year holidays spent at hometown. This could be one of the least enjoyable CNY ever for me. I couldn't get away from my works! Ya... I guess they're right. I should have learned how to turn off my mobile while I was having my break. But sorry... this is over for me...



Time passed swiftly during this CNY. When I realized it, I was already on my way back to PJ. And on my way back, I fetched my buddy who was taking a flight back to Cambodia for work. Although the night before I was back to home around 3a.m. after a drunkenly joyful night in the city, I happened to be quite alive again to take the long journey in the next morning. Isn't it ironical? To feel dead when I started my vacation and back to living again when it ended? :S





So? That means I'm feeling alive because I can still feel the pain~ Right, dude?

Engrish Jokes 「英語」笑話

某男，粗通英文，至使館，有表要填，有一欄是sex。

該男思之久已，毅然下筆：「Once a week。」

簽證官觀後暴笑，曰：「This item should be filled in with male or female！」

該男頓時赧顏，思之，填下﹕「Female。」

官楞之，曰：「Shouldn't it be male？」

男急釋曰：「I am a normal man, so I have sex with female。」


某公司經理叫秘書轉呈公文給老闆，「報告老闆，下個月歐洲有一批訂單，我覺得公司需要派人去和他們開會。」

老闆在公文後面短短簽下：「Go a head！」

經理收到之後，馬上指示下屬買機票、擬行程，自己則馬上整理行李。

臨出發，被秘書擋下來。

秘書：「你要幹什麼？」

經理：「去歐洲開會啊！」

秘書：「老闆同意了嗎？」

經理：「老闆不是批go a head 嗎？」

秘書：「你來公司那麼久，難道你還不知道老闆的英文程度嗎？老闆的意思是：『去個頭！』」


有位國內來的女士，個性喜愛沾便宜。

某日紐約曼哈頓名牌衣飾大減價，她去揀便宜，選來選去，終於挑到一件，但樣式新潮，不敢確定是女裝還是男裝。

正巧一位又高又壯又黑的男服務員朝她走過來，就用英語問他：「 For girl or boy？」

黑人回答：「Unisex！」

她聽成「You need sex」，豈不是性騷擾？又怕自己聽錯，露出錯愕懷疑的神情。

黑服務員見狀，一個字母一個字母地解釋：「U - N - I - SEX！」

這次她聽的很清楚「You and I Sex」，立即找黑人上司理論，心想可趁機會大大地敲一筆。

經理解釋說：「這件衣服男女都可以穿，Unisex 是中性的意思，構不上性騷擾。」

她敲竹槓的興頭完全落空，白歡喜一場。


一位老兄獨自到紐約出差，工作之餘，打算看看風景名勝，為此他查考了大量的資料，選擇去自由女神像。為了週全，甚至把負責自由女神參觀的聯繫電話都找到了 ...666-2613 。

於是，他叫了輛計程車準備出發，下面是他和計程車司機的談話：

計程車司機問道：「Where do you want to go, Sir？」

老兄不知道自由女神像英文稱為「Statue of Liberty」，他想自由應該是 FREE，女神大概是 WOMAN，於是回答司機：「 FREE WOMAN！」

司機聽成「免費的女人」，馬上道：「What？Oh！Hey man, here is America, nothing is free！」（「什麼？喂！老兄，這裡是美國，樣樣都要花錢，沒有免費的玩意兒！」）

老兄：「Oh！How come！I read it from yellow page。 See, here is the phone number,『sex-sex-sex two-sex-one-free』。」

Boys & Girls Jokes

A British aged 90 married a 16-yr old. He had baby every year n said that his engine was turbo.
When 5th was born, nurse said 'Check engine oil; baby is black'.


A wise man once said:
To be happy, it's important to find a woman who:
1 Helps at home cooks a decent meal, cleans up n has a job.
2 Can make u laugh.
3 U can trust n doesn't lie to u.
4 Is good in bed n doing blowjobs n likes to be licked.
5 It's very important that these 4 women don't know each other.


A woman gave birth to 6 babies.
On seeing this she got of the bed and slapped her husband n shouted 'I told you not to go doggy style'.


Wife (nude b4 a mirror): 'I look awful, tits r sagging, tummy is big, bum is 2 wide, I'm depressed. Plz gimme me a compliment'.
Husband: 'Ur eye sight is perfect'.


Q: 'wht is d difference between biology n sociology'?
Ans: 'whn d baby lookz like his dad or mom thn its biology, whn d baby lookz like the neighbour thn its sociology'.

Houston... Houston... I'm going down...

Last week was really traumatic to me. Apart from getting my 1st ever summon (ya, the 1st one), I've been totally distressed at work. First, I got sick. Second I got to work despite sick. I admit that it was partially because I forced myself to. But instead of doing that, it didn't seem to have an alternative for me.

I worked on holiday and weekend also in standby mode at home. I'm coughing like my body is moaning that I've gone beyond my limit. I'm doing all this for myself? Now my body is showing the answer to me. I'm really tired of everything... and everyone that I've been trying to bear with. I need to learn more than getting up after fell down. Now wait what my mind tells me next? An action will be done.

(The Great) Escape from Summons

This morning, when I was ready to take my breakfast at home after self-decoration, I looked out to my car parked alongside the road. Then I saw a hardworking policeman was taking out his summons pad from his uniform to get ready for summoning cash (that's what summons are for) from the car owners who had parked at the roadside.

My first response was just stunned. Then came the hard decision whether I should grab a few packets of biscuits for my breakfast or to hustle down to drive my innocent car away (yes, it's really a hard decision). After a minute of pondering, I flew (it's different from "jumped" in Chinese) down from my apartment. When I got out from my apartment area, gosh... it ain't just one guy but four!! I picked up my pace and hopped into my car and started the engine to drive away. And when I did that, the good policeman was giving ticket to the car parked just in front of me...

Come on... it's an apartment area (though just close enough). And it's damn early in the day. What do you people expect wo? Haih, looks like I need to go out earlier tomorrow onwards until I got my car park slot inside the apartment area (it's damn $$$ leh).

Funny video~ Santa training

Ho! ho! ho! I should have found this video before Christmas so that I could send it to all my friends as a Christmas greeting. A video about the life in Santa training camp. Oh yeah, they're real!!! And it's really not easy to be a Santa.

Merry Christmas~

Another favourite catastrophe movie

This noon I just went to watch this movie I Am Legend alone (just like the charm in this movie :D). It's starred by Will Smith who also played in the movie Independence Day (yet another catastrophe movie :P).

According to an interview with him, he explained that this movie is about being all alone in this world after a virus catastrophe had taken place. Even in the movie poster itself, I found the word ALONE is right behind his role character. He also stressed that many things we can see in this movie is about how a person could manage to survive all by oneself in a totally isolated space. He did exercise everyday in the morning, played golf game, watched recorded tapes on TV, and talked to the air. It's all about a schedule.

There's a scene in the movie that I was touched deep down to my heart (and with tears). It was when he spent the last minutes with his only companion - a dog given by his daughter to "protect" his dad before she left him forever. It was so beautiful.

The Earth is getting one year older (2008 Eve)

Today's the last day of 2007. It's today that we usually recall back our memories in the past 365 days. What we've done, who we've met, when and where something most meaningful happened to us. Apart from that, it's today also that we as residents on the planet recall back what incidents have happened in our societies, countries, continents and earth herself. Every year in today, we pray for a better future for our planet, and most of us voluntarily or involuntarily care the most of the Earth. We hope that you will be healthier, tougher, and happier than ever...

Hellboy 2 coming soon

The new sequel to Hellboy movie is coming soon (unsurprisingly)! To me, I found the charm of the 1st episode lies in its arts. Yes, the arts of portraying creatures and scenes from hell down below. It's always good to see that they're making movies with tons and tons of artificial effects because that would only mean we have much to indulge our eyes in. So, can't wait to be astounded by the new Hellboy movie again :)

New Factor to Sensory Nerves

After my old and cheap :( speaker system met with its lifetime end, I decided to go get a new one. It's the Sonic Gear's Evo 5 Pro! I picked the white edition because it looks so cool at first sight. Plus it's got an appealing graphical display on the main panel that jumps on the rhythms it plays out. It costs me RM125 only! Wow~

Hehe... my plan is to get a 22" LCD display soon together with a luxurious (to my $ limit) graphics card. Then I can have my (mini) home theater system soon! Wuahaha... (dribbling)

"I witnessed a car accident"

Driving on the roads so far, I've never seen the real happenings of a car accident. Every time I just saw the "end results". Of course I've never asked to see one with my own eyes. But I think it's quite lucky for me to not see any of it till this far.

But it happened. On the night I was driving my parents and my brother from a close town back to my home at midnight, two cars collided just about 100 meters in front of us. The cars slammed to each other inside a hill tunnel by the time I drove into the tunnel entrance. The tremendous tire-screeching and metal-cracking sound frightened everyone in the car.

As I drove close to the scene, we saw the 1st car was full with a family. And all the family members (at least 4 were children) seem to be alright as they all ran out from the smacked car immediately. The father was holding one of his daughter who was in trauma (judged by the expression on her face) and it felt as if he would forever not let go of her daughter no matter what's happening to her.

We passed by the 1st car very slowly but I didn't stop to help (for a few reasons...). Then when I drove near to the car at the front, I was shocked to find out that it was the car that just passed through me a few seconds before the accident (outside the tunnel) in a reckless manner. The people inside were all alright as well. One thing that irritated me was when I saw the driver he was checking the damage on his car with a calm look (I believe he was pretending in front of us) and it was as if he's pitying how much money he needed to pay for the repair.

After seeing both groups of people were still in pretty good shapes, we exited the tunnel and saw the security staffs working in the tunnel. And they're hustling to the scene not far away. I wound my car window down and yelled to them about the car accident and they responded they're already on their way. Feeling relieved to see everything is turning out well from the worst, we continued our journey.

It was lucky for me that I didn't get involved at all. But I got something out from the accident too. It was anger. And it's an amazing experience to have seen everything in the accident from a great father to a young troublemaker and finally the agile rescue team on duty. Normally it took around 30 seconds to pass the tunnel through. But this incident had slowed down everything in both physics and mentality. It had clued me some little thing of what I'm always wondering: is our world conflicting in many aspects like this as the new generation tries to overpower the old generation with all modern weapons (computers, electronics, engines, mentalities, etc.)?

My '07 Year-End Holiday

It was a 6-days holiday marathon I spent at my hometown with my family.

First it was this Chinese "dong zhi" (冬至) festival that we took our supper dinner together with our traditional food "tang yuan" (汤圆) dessert. It is a tradition that we would finally grow a year older after the night passes. And every year at this time the moon would be in her perfect round shape and brightest mood (see for yourself).
Then we picked a day to go out to Ipoh (the biggest town in Perak) for a walk. On the way to our destination, we would pass by a small hill known as the Lion Hill which is recognized by her hilltop shape that resembles a lion's back (well, till this day I still don't know where is its tail? You tell me...).
After a not-too-long walk in the town, we went to play bowling together! It was the 1st time my parents played bowling. So it was all full with joy and fun there only, not much competition for me (hmm...). Then at midnight we went to watch National Treasure 2 in cinema too. To me, it's a so-so movie. But who cares? :)

Then on Christmas day I came back to PJ preparing for the workdays ahead tomorrow. I felt quite relieved and relaxed to have spent my holiday in this way though it's not luxurious or glamorous at all. It's all about time.

Playback of Some of the Greatest Dance Moves Ever

I'm not the kind who (can) dance but I do like to enjoy watching some great dance moves like breakdancing which I got interested in not too long ago. Those are something that have come through ages to develop and will definitely continue to wow the world. Here I got one that is a series of famous dance moves over the few decades and that may bring you back some good memories back in your time.

Justin Timberlake on the stage

First time when I listened to the song My Love on FlyFM, I already started to feel its amazing rhythm jumping inside me (wow...). Then after sometime I decided to look for its music video in Stage6. Apart from its original music video, I also discovered this on-stage performance by J.T. at the same time. And it's even more astounding to me when I first played it to watch (and again and again...).

Watch it here to feel what I'm trying to tell you (if you can feel it too la). Simply cool...

Singaporean Jokes

Joke 1
Ah Lian ask shopkeeper: "Eh Ah chek, u got sell stocking up to knee, boh?"
Ah Chek : "Lu siao ah! stocking wear up to 'yeo' (waist) only, where got up to the 'nee'(breast) one."

Joke 2
The Titanic was sinking, and there weren't enough lifeboats. So the captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters to make room for women and children.
To the British he said. "You must act like gentlemen." They jumped.
To the Americans he said, "You can be heroes." They complied.
To the Germans he said, "It's the rule." They obeyed.
To the Japanese he said," It's the consensus." They obliged.
Then came the Singaporean and they just weren't budging until he came up with the appeal: "Free life jackets for those who jumped."

Joke 3
3 recruits - Chinese, Malay & Indian are at the army supply base to collect underwear. The sergeant was there to aid the supplies.
Sergeant: Hei Ah Beng! How many underwear you need ah?
Ah Beng: (thinks a while) 7 sasen(sergeant)!
Sergeant: (puzzled) How come so many?
Ah Beng: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun. One day one.
Sergeant: (Malay recruit) Eh Mat! How many underwear?
Mat: (without hesitation) 6 sargen!
Sergeant: (curious) How come six?
Mat: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Sat & Sun. Friday I wear sarong.
Sergeant: (Indian recruit) Dei Tambi. How many underwears dah dei?
Tambi: (very confidently) 12 Sarjen !!!!
Sergeant: (shocked & fell to the ground) Why you need so many for?
Tambi: January, February, March.....One month one.

I am a November-Firster. So are you?

I like to read about my horoscope and birthday signs. It's like a religion to me. And most of the time I found it's quite real. Not only the good parts I believe in la. I always seek for clues from the signs and compare them to my life to see what's missing from myself. One thing for sure is right - I always act according to instincts and intuitions. When that feeling comes, phiiiuuu~~ only god knows what the heck I'm doing.

You can go here and enjoy some readings about your birthday signs too (in Chinese). And for anyone who's also born on November 1st, here are some excerpts from the original full texts.

11月1日 喜好刺激者

积极好动的11月1日出生者，无论做什么事都会专心致志、全力以赴，但这种特质同时也特别易受某些危险事物吸引。他们不但自己会去寻找危险事物，它们也会 突然出现，冷不防地就使他们深陷其中。对这一天出生的人来说，在职业中寻求刺激是一项首要之事。如果他们花上长时间投入于某个无法令人振奋的工作，他们很 容易就会变得停滞不前或退化委靡。除非寻得了一项能满足这种需要的刺激，否则他们仍旧会对生活感到枯燥乏味，不能满足。

此种人格特性中的攻击性成分倒是极易辨别的。大体而言，由于这一天出生的人通常都是以一种率直、坦诚的方式来呈现自己，因此他们的强烈态度并不会这样就冒 犯地得罪了别人。对于他们来说，诚实不讳是很自然而然的行为表现，不过他们也会将自己私底下极为复杂的情绪隐藏起来。所以，虽然他们相当乐于向外界表露出 他们大部分的一面，但绝对不是毫无保留。

11月1日出生的人拥有高度的信心，然而他们对危难的忽视和缺乏警觉很可能会使自己身体与精神上皆受到极大的伤害。不但如此，他们还倾向于低估自己的敌 手，而且拒绝逆耳的忠言。所以这一天出生的人除了必须学习在评估反对力量方面更为实际之外，更应该试着以一种较冷静客观的眼光检视自己的生活。同时在生活 上，最好也能多多听取别人的建言，并且虚心接受。

今天出生的人只有在着手从事他们所选定的努力方向时，才会由衷地感到快乐。不论是一大堆正等着处理的文书工作、使用某个器具、参与一项比赛性的游戏运动， 或是追求一位心仪的对象，他们就像上了瘾般难以停止下来。他们作业的方式颇具有闪电般袭击的特性，而不是一步步小心翼翼地摸索前进。同时，他们这种做什么 事都全力以赴的本性，使得自己老早就预料到会招致异议与非难，因此在某些竞争激烈的场合中，他们可能会主动向敌对势力展开防御性的痛击。

这一天出生的人通常对人和技术层次的事务拥有卓越、甚至精辟的洞见，却很少用在自己身上。他们或许还要花相当多的时间，逐渐了解自身本性中更深层的部分才 行。此外，就像之前提过的，11月1日出生者若能更提高警觉，应该可以获益良多。而培养良知良能，将会帮助他们在人生的道路上走得更长更远。

建议
充实本身该有的常识是你的当务之急。学习如何在日常生活中保护自己。专注于前瞻性发展的同时，也别忘了回头关心一下自己。你应该试卷多认识、了解真实的自我才行。

塔罗牌

大秘仪塔罗牌的第22张是"愚者"。图案是一个人快活地站在悬崖边。有的解释是他十分愚蠢，缺乏理性判断的能力；有的则指出他极端崇尚精神层面，不在乎现 实。总括来说就是凭直觉行事、没有拒绝和抵抗的能力；同时，民代表了愚蠢、冲动和虚无。不过他们之中较成熟的，则会从生命的历练中学取经验，然后成为自己 理想中的人。

Japanese food enthusiasm

It was the first time I ever ordered Sake (Japanese traditional alcohol) in a full bottle. Oh, and it happened by accident indeed :P I guess I was already drunk before I ordered it because I thought it would be RM20 something around, wuahaha... Really insane me... (and it ended up RM110++)

Every time I talked about Jap food, you'd know that it was all about Yataimura restaurant (Yataimura@OneUtama or Yataimura@PG). I'm going to try out every dish they have sooner or later. But first I need to learn to get drunk with Sake as the basic training. And one beauty about this Yataimura is that they keep the alcohol for you for next-time visits (up to 3 months).

It's got 25%.

So, I tried something new again :) Man you're also right la, I don't consume alcohol always. But I really don't need another reason to do anything about Japanese lo. It's all about enthusiasm.

Big big Christmas stage @OneUtama

There's a very huge Christmas stage at One Utama near to the Giant store. I was so impressed and excited to see it with my own eyes while standing in front looking up to the big drummer puppet. The atmosphere there is already overwhelmed with all jingle-bell thingies. So go and have look around there when you have the chance.

Here's a closer look:

Funny adult joke

一个年轻的新郎在新婚之夜问他的爷爷

"我应该怎样去计划我做爱的频率呢?"

爷爷说”当你还在新婚时期,你总是随时想要做爱,也许一天好几回”

"而後呢,做爱次数逐渐减少,或许礼拜做一次"

"再然後呢,你已经逐渐变老,可能一个月做爱一次"

"当你真的变老时,你一年可能有幸运的一次做爱成功,也许在你周年纪念日的时候"

"喔,这样啊!!那你现在跟奶奶做爱的情形呢?"

好奇的新郎如此问爷爷

"喔, 我跟你奶奶啊,我们现在只有口交” 爷爷回答道

"什么是"口交"啊?”

“喔,所谓口交就是她进她的卧房,我进我的卧房, 然後她大叫"FXXK YOU!!",而我也回应大吼”FXXK YOU,TOO!!"